Saturday, January 31, 2009

B is for Blooming (and Bullshit)

The hard-won slaughter of a week's hunting. I always seem to make the catch on Sunday.

I am, it is generally recognized, a straightforward and no-bullshit person. I am aggressive. I am focused. I can be impatient, demanding, and brusque. This presentation, this lifestyle, these choices are not always comfortable for others to experience, to understand. This is by the nature, the intention, of the beast I am. Make no mistake, I know that I am both brutal and savage.

I aim to be a challenger, not in a competitive sense but in a sense of mastery. A tenet of my belief system is that we only have one life, and it is not worthwhile to get hung up on the politics of social relations. Taboos, social expectations are constructions that do not exist so much for a purpose. Their utility is far outweighed by the damages of silence, conformity, inauthenticity. I wasn't fully - "properly" - socialized into the system. I don't see why we have to buy in if the goal is full experience of the limited resource of life. Isn't it better to work hard and endure pain so that you can grow stronger and do more? Aren't the rewards of the expansion of your potential worth the trials you choose to undertake? Isn't the view from the top of the mountain worth the struggle up?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I'm not a gamer, but...


Fable II is super fun.

Why is this surprising? Well, I'm usually a very linear player. My goal is to get to the end. Period. I only want the minimum gear I need to get there. I don't want to spend 5 hours making sure I got everything, I don't want to "explore," I don't want to run off the trail, I don't want open content. I feel a little guilty that I game at all - there are so many other things I could do with my time - so why spend time trying to be perfect at something with no tangible rewards?

For some reason, Fable is different. Customizing the character isn't tiresome. The side quests feel worthwhile. Waiting for "daytime" to come so I can go shopping isn't as much of a hassle - I usually get an in-game "job" and work until "morning".

There are a lot of factors to stay on top of - your attractiveness, your moral purity (seriously), your gold, your gear, your jobs, travel time. For some reason, it isn't intimidating. Maybe I'm becoming more of a gamer - I have had subscriptions to World of Warcraft, and I recently beat LittleBigPlanet - but even with the extensive load screens, it's been a lot of fun.

Also, you get an ADORABLE dog companion who does useful stuff. Major props to the guys and ladies who designed the movements and expressions - it's easy to get attached to/appreciate it as a sidekick. Beloved Boy's dogs (on different characters) are Buttercup and Nutmeg (or Nutters).

A hardware note: I started playing Fable on a large, dying TV. Next round was on a smaller, dying TV. Beloved Boy got a 32" HDTV for Christmas. I am NEVER going back to Fables on analog. You can read things, understand the symbols, and appreciate the gorgeous graphics. So nice.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A is for Amore


Being in love is totally punk rock.
Sure, it's soft and fluffy and snuggly, but at the same time it's kind of like a mosh pit. You plunge into this super hardcore seething mass of danger, thinking, "That. Looks. Awesome." And it FULLY IS. You've got six cubic liters of adrenaline coursing through your wildly gyrating body and you get this high like you can do anything or take on anyone. You might get the crap kicked out of you (probably will), but you don't really feel it and at the end of the night you shake hands with the guy who did it and grab a drink. It's violent; it's dangerous; it's completely worth the bruises, concussions, broken bones - because of that high. We humans are love junkies. Our brains literally release opiates when we're in love (and when we're in mosh pits). We will go through all sorts of hell for a fix. The lucky ones get it steady, like a vitamin, but some of us wear our love history like track marks. Mainlining bliss into both arms and our eyeballs all in one go, then crash until the next fix.
Consider your beloved after an absence. Consider them after sex. Consider long-distance relationships. Consider abusive relationships. Consider polyamory. Consider withdrawal. Consider the long-term health effects of being in a mosh pit.
It's such a beautiful thing.

LINKS!
Being in Love is Totally Punk Rock T-Shirt
Red and Gray Messenger Bag

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Resolutions! Have Less, Do More

It's already a few days in, but I haven't finished the post because I was actually working on my resolutions. Take that, timelines!

I want 2009 to be smooooooth.

In the spirit of smoothness: Downsizing.

I'm a terrible packrat. I need to get rid of a LOT of stuff because it's not bringing me joy at this point in time. I look around my room and fuss over the amount of stuff I have, hardly seeing the "potential" uses I have saved things for. Every day since New Year's has been Cleaning Day and more stuff is going into the bag for the Switch and Stitch and Bitch next week. What's left will at least be tidy! And no new supplies until most of my existing supplies have been used. The knitting is starting to take over my room, the fabrics need to be worked with and not linger in a box, the saved clothing needs to be modified, and the "for sale" stuff needs to be put up and sold. No mercy!

The other area of this is food. Being pretty broke off and on this quarter has showed me that I can survive and even thrive on a lot less than I thought I could. Proper preparation can get me on a better track and save me money, etc. etc. I spent New Year's with an amazing woman whose figure I'd like to rival by this time next year. I get lazy, so the planning is going to be key. Constant vigilance!

In the spirit of smoothness without stagnance: Activity.

Yes, it is very easy to put something on the TV and knit for a few hours. This has gotten me a lot of stock for my shop, but the aforementioned fabric has sat around for several moves, waiting to be used. The clothes have sat on their shelf - "To Modify" - since summer. And like always, I'm behind on posting my work. I am going to focus more energy on using what I have and concentrating on crafts for the sake of themselves, not as things to occupy my hands while my brain is watching TV. Neither photography or sewing are too strenuous. I can do it!

Also, exercise & body. At the very least, no more sitting in bed to knit/TV - I have a perfectly good exercise ball and if I use it as a chair, I'll get a little toning and keep the bed from being an "awake" place in my mind. I also have five-pound weights that need to get used more. Again, vigilance!

More to come before too long - my camera cable has vanished into the ether, but stuff's been going on!

Links!
My Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast (show TONIGHT!)
Bright Colors for the New Year Recycled Yarn Scarf
Lunar New Year Necklace